Today my son got in trouble at school. They have a program where all the kids start the day at green, meaning doing great. If they get a warning about behavior or something they move to yellow. If they continue they move to red and get a ticket. If they still continue they crash, meaning they go to the principal's office. Today Corey got a red ticket. He was not able to finish his math work (did the whole page, but did it wrong and had to start over because he did not follow directions) so he had to stay for part of his last recess. He threw a fit. So I had to call the teacher after school to discuss how to help Corey deal with his "anger" or "frustrations" better at school. We both understood why he was so frustrated. I hate to repeat work and miss out on my free time too. But how he dealt with it was disruptive to class. "Grunting, hit the desk and pulling his hair."
But how do you express yourself when you are that frustrated? I know I have seen many an adult slap their hand on their desk, growl, pull their hair, and act out in such a way when they are frustrated or stressed. I mean, think about the last time you stubbed your toe. Or the last time your boss told you to stay late because you didn't finish a project. What about typing a long email to a friend and losing it due to a computer error. Do you know how hard it is to try to come up with another way for him to work out his frustration while in class? I don't think the teacher is wrong. He did completely disrupt the class, and that is not ok. But it isn't like he has anger management problems. He didn't hit anyone or threaten the teacher. He was venting. I would have too.
Ever since those rations of school shootings, the schools have really taken on an almost stifling approach to child behavior. I understand why. But like I have said before, this is a country that reacts and reacts with extreme measures. "Have you thought about counseling?" Do you know how many parents have heard that lately? I heard it today. It is almost as common as "Have you thought to have little Joey tested for ADD or ADHD?" I have not heard that one, and if I did I would laugh in their face, as we all know that Corey is a pretty mellow kid.
What ever happened to understanding that they are kids? Again, I don't agree that it is ok to disrupt the class, and Corey is grounded. Why? Because he was warned with a yellow ticket. He did not change his behavior. That is why. He was given the opportunity to modify his reaction/actions and chose not to. Your actions have consequences. But I am not rushing to buy the latest "mute your child's feeling and make him numb to all emotions" book or selling my left arm to pay for a counseling session either.
Am I wrong here? Am I just in denial? Is it just me?