Monday Again?
This weekend, my dear friend, John visited from Detroit. For any of you who don't know, when he and I hang out it is a lot like watching the two old men (Waldorf & Statler) from the classic Muppets Show. We are cynical, crass, and comical. I am not sure what is our favorite past time, people watching, or commenting on the people we watch. It is like a sport to us. And we are very good at it.
To the common ear we might sound judgmental or mean at times. But really, no ill will is meant. We just have opinions, some strong, and some not so strong, about almost anyone or anything. Here are some of the observations we made:
*Far too many woman wear shirts that are intentionally too short, then tug at them because they are self-conscious.
*Far, Far, Far too many women wear tops that are too short, and aren't self conscious, but should be
*People will speed past you, cut you off, just to get stuck behind someone else at a stop light, and end up a car length behind you again.
*We all tend to want to gloat at the jerk we just discussed, and end up stuck behind him for the rest of our journey.
*Far too often we are more polite than those that wait on us.
*There are too many 40 year old white woman with tribal tattoos driving minivans
*People who smoke think we are the ones with a problem.
*While waiting for your movie to start, there will be at least one movie trailer that at the end of you will lean over to your friend and say ".....uh pass"
*There will also be at least one movie that you will say "I can't wait to see that one" and forget all about it and miss it completely when it comes out.
*Ordering your pop corn, drink, hot dog, candy, and then going to the bathroom before going into the theater is a bad idea.
*Placing said order on the bathroom floor for me and everyone else to see is just disgusting.
*Movie and TV plots do not have to be even close to realistic to be entertaining, and to suck you in.
*Eighties music still rocks
*Anyone who is not in the military or hunting and wearing camouflage anyway should be shot on principle alone.
*If you are anything larger than a size A, you should wear a bra.
*Child like things still amuse us.
*People should not have more children than teeth.
*Yelling across the parking lot at your wife to tell her she is acting like a crazy woman for 10 minutes only explains why you are with her.
*As big as some of us are, we appear to be invisible to young, skinny, blonde girls, hence why they walk into us without saying excuse me, fail to ask if we need assistance in a store, and often cut in front of us in a line.
*People are having children at a much older age now, and many of the men look miserable, and the woman just look plain silly sometimes.
*Said people get offended if you mistake them for grandparents. I am sorry, you look like you starred in Tales from the Crypt, how was I to know?
*And finally, we noticed that John and I are damn funny and extreamly entertaining! Just ask us! :)
This weekend, my dear friend, John visited from Detroit. For any of you who don't know, when he and I hang out it is a lot like watching the two old men (Waldorf & Statler) from the classic Muppets Show. We are cynical, crass, and comical. I am not sure what is our favorite past time, people watching, or commenting on the people we watch. It is like a sport to us. And we are very good at it.
To the common ear we might sound judgmental or mean at times. But really, no ill will is meant. We just have opinions, some strong, and some not so strong, about almost anyone or anything. Here are some of the observations we made:
*Far too many woman wear shirts that are intentionally too short, then tug at them because they are self-conscious.
*Far, Far, Far too many women wear tops that are too short, and aren't self conscious, but should be
*People will speed past you, cut you off, just to get stuck behind someone else at a stop light, and end up a car length behind you again.
*We all tend to want to gloat at the jerk we just discussed, and end up stuck behind him for the rest of our journey.
*Far too often we are more polite than those that wait on us.
*There are too many 40 year old white woman with tribal tattoos driving minivans
*People who smoke think we are the ones with a problem.
*While waiting for your movie to start, there will be at least one movie trailer that at the end of you will lean over to your friend and say ".....uh pass"
*There will also be at least one movie that you will say "I can't wait to see that one" and forget all about it and miss it completely when it comes out.
*Ordering your pop corn, drink, hot dog, candy, and then going to the bathroom before going into the theater is a bad idea.
*Placing said order on the bathroom floor for me and everyone else to see is just disgusting.
*Movie and TV plots do not have to be even close to realistic to be entertaining, and to suck you in.
*Eighties music still rocks
*Anyone who is not in the military or hunting and wearing camouflage anyway should be shot on principle alone.
*If you are anything larger than a size A, you should wear a bra.
*Child like things still amuse us.
*People should not have more children than teeth.
*Yelling across the parking lot at your wife to tell her she is acting like a crazy woman for 10 minutes only explains why you are with her.
*As big as some of us are, we appear to be invisible to young, skinny, blonde girls, hence why they walk into us without saying excuse me, fail to ask if we need assistance in a store, and often cut in front of us in a line.
*People are having children at a much older age now, and many of the men look miserable, and the woman just look plain silly sometimes.
*Said people get offended if you mistake them for grandparents. I am sorry, you look like you starred in Tales from the Crypt, how was I to know?
*And finally, we noticed that John and I are damn funny and extreamly entertaining! Just ask us! :)
posted by Cindy at 5:28 PM
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