Just a thought ...

I was watching the news tonight and it was describing a bank robbery. What caught my attention was the newscaster stating that the man used a non-threatening note to obtain the money. What did the note say I wonder. And was it really a robbery?
Think about it.
If I walk into a bank, hand the teller a note that read:
"Can I have all the money in your till please?"
And she gave it to me, and I left, is that really theft? I simply asked, and she gave it. I did not threaten any harm or even tell her to do it. I made a polite request, which she granted.
"Yeah but the money wasn't yours." True, but when we ask for things, it is rarely for what is already ours. Does this mean I have to give back all the gifts I have asked for and received over the years? As far as I know there is no law against asking for money. That would put churches, politicians, charities, and all the other pan handlers out of business.
Really, I think the only thing they could get me for would be receiving stolen merchandise. (Since the money given to me by the teller was not hers to give and we would both know that.) Although money is not merchandise, I am sure there is some connection there. But theft, no. Sorry, I don't think the DA would have a case. I bet there a few lawyers out there that would agree with me. Or at least try to use my theory.
I don't recommend anyone test my theory, but I would love to know peoples opinions on it. Ask around, see what people think. Just a thought.

Catch up

It is time to play a little catch up. I work so much now that I rarely see my son (no exaggeration) and I have little energy or time to blog. Really, I should be cleaning my kitchen right now, but, well, I am too freaking tired to do it. Besides, telling you stories is more fun!
Mouse Update: Since the Massacre in the Bathtub, I have gone on to kill again. Twice. Well once, cause mouse #3 was not really my doing, not directly. After a long day at work, I tried to soak my feet in a bucket. It was tall, but not wide enough for these boats. I set the bucket on the kitchen counter to keep Milo away from it until I was ready to toss the water out in the tub. Well I forgot about it, but it attracted a mouse, who fell in and drowned. I think that is a suicide and should not count on my record. The last mouse was actually caught by Milo. He did some damage, but because I had laid poison out for the mice, I was afraid to let him really have it, so I covered my hand with a plastic bag, picked it up, dropped it in the toilet, poured some cleaner in with it, turned my head for a couple of minutes and flushed. Apparently my weapon of choice is H2O. It's handy, but damn hard to carry in your holster!
Corey and I were able to spend a great Christmas together. It was nice and we want to say thank you to everyone who added to his and my joy. However, we ended up with more people than beds on Christmas Eve, so I got to share the sectional couch with my brothers life long friend Gabe, whom I haven't seen in about three years. He is a really nice guy, (no Grandma, he didn't purpose!) and although a little awkward at first, we were really too tired to care. Heads at opposite ends, and feet converged in the corner, we were content just to be off the floor.
I have had some really off the wall customers, which always makes work entertaining. Lets see, we had one guy try to pretend to be someone's husband and pick up her packages. It didn't work. We had one person try to return items she had stole from us. Really. Again, it failed. I had one woman yell at me for telling her was on sale. I guess she found it rude to insinuate that she would want to purchase something on sale. I have been asked out a couple of times by guys who come into the store. I said no. Although, if the guy I met tonight comes back, I will say yes. Don't know what it was about him, but he got my attention. Made me blush.
I fell down a few stairs at home and it looks like I broke my big toe. That really sucks.
Corey spent almost as much of his gift money on books and board games as he did on toys. His choice. He is a good kid. I am really very blessed. I can't talk much more about him, because I miss him. I really am not kidding that I don't get to see him much right now. But it will be over in a week or so. And I am so thankful to my parents for all their help during this Holiday.
So there is a little update from the thing called my life. Just trudging along. Missing the heck out of everyone.

Good Will to Man ...

If you work in retail or in the mall, it is very difficult not to laugh at the above title. People are often horrid to one another during this time of year. Calling someone rude is more like praise compared to what they really are. Shoppers are mean, nasty, selfish people. Even the ones who start out nice turn ugly by the end of the day, for the mere fact that they have too in order to make it out alive. Many of you can relate to that and those of you who start off ugly have no clue what I am talking about.
Anyway, last night my mom's best friend, Mary, hosted a party for 6 under privileged families. She opened her home and her heart to them and gave them a night to remember. She prepared a big pasta meal, several desserts, decorated her home from tip to top, hired a Santa that showed up while all the kids were singing Christmas Carols around the tree. She went out and bought very nice gifts for each child (over 12 of them) and even gave Santa a heads up on each child so that when they came up to take turns sitting with him, he knew their name, what grade they were in, what they liked, what they had accomplished this year, and what to focus on next year. They took pictures and gave them to each family. I had books to donate from Hallmark and Santa signed each one for each family.
Corey was invited because we he and Mary's grandson are close to the same age and we are hoping to spend time together this summer.
The evening was magical for those children and the families. By the end of the night the kids were acting as if we were all one big family. Kids were playing and sharing, they would come up to adults and just talk, smile, play, and enjoy everything. It truly warmed your heart. I was so jaded after a long day at work dealing with selfish, crass, awful people, but the minute I walked in that door and heard laughter, thank yous, Christmas music, love, and good will, I felt right again. I got to see first hand what Christmas is all about.
I see it with my family too, and teach it to my son, but this was something that I really had to talk about because it really lifted my spirit and the spirit of Christmas.
God bless us each, everyone.

Confessions of a serial eater

Tonight I made and ate an entire package of instant mashed potatoes. The package says serves 4 but we all know that really means like 2 1/2. But I ate it all. Every bite. I worked a long day and was looking for a warm and easy fix to my hunger pains. BAM! Instant potatoes. And these are not Army issued freeze packed nasty mush. These are garlic with herb and butter creamy yummieness. And I gorged myself. If I were in the movie Seven, I would be gluttony. And now I feel sick. I can feel my stomach expanding. It is going to be a long night. But I couldn't help myself. I love potatoes. There are my favorite food. Which my Irish friends think is appalling. But I love them.
Which brings me to another point, I eat Beef Jerky like some people eat chocolate. I will buy one of those large family packs and eat the whole thing. I can leave cookies, cake, candy, brownies, chips, and other junk food in their perspective spots, until they rot. Really. Not a problem. But Beef Jerky, look out. I am dehydrated in 5 minutes. I love beef jerky. Not turkey jerky, not teriyaki, not pepperoni sticks, not Slim Jims. But real beef jerky.
And the really sad thing is (yes even sadder than the above two paragraphs) is that even with as much pain as I am in right now, if you handed me a bag of good jerky, it would be gone in less than 10 minutes. I am not a compulsive eater, or even an over eater. I am a serial eater.

Cheap Royalty

A woman in our store broke a collection piece from one of our Fairy lines. It is about $25.00 or so. Maybe more. Anyway, a co-worker saw it happen and watched as the woman began to tuck the broken fairy behind a few of the other fairies. Said co-worker approached the woman and said "Can I help you with that?" "Well I suppose I have to buy it now!" she answered in a huff. "No actually we don't apply that policy here, but we do ask that a customer tell us when a piece is broken so that we can replace it with a new one, rather than display a broken one."

We got a phone call from security that we had a shop lifter in our store, and that she was being followed by plain clothes security. The woman had already stole from four other stores, and they were going to confront her when she left our store. She was pushing an empty stroller, and even knocked over one of our displays. She wandered around the store and I think even bought some $5.00 ornament. When she left she was confronted and searched. Even though she was being watched by us, she had managed to steal from us too. What did she steal? The baby Jesus from a nativity scene.

A man bought a $315.00 item from me and I offered to gift wrap it for him, as he was giving it to his mother for a Christmas gift, but would have to leave it at her house that night because he was returning to California early in the morning. (ok, that and he was really really cute. I mean a drop dead hottie. But I digress...) A woman heard me offer this service and proceeded to ask me to wrap a $6.00 ornament for her. I explained that we don't even have a box for that item. She was insistent that I would be able to find a spare one and that if I could offer the service to the man then I could offer it to her. I had to agree to do it, so I spent close to ten minutes hunting for a box and wrapping a gift the size of a golf ball. The really funny part is that the bow was bigger than the box and it came out looking rather silly. I didn't do it on purpose, but again, as mentioned in an earlier blog, we hand make these bows and they really only come in one size. She wasn't thrilled, but what could she say?

Cheap people both annoy and entertain me.

A day with my son ...

Corey and I played Hooky yesterday. We spent the day together, just enjoying each other. Since Thursday is my one day off, it was a very important time for me. He really thought so too. This day was made possible by the Hanton Family who sent gift cards for the stores and so forth. They know how very much this meant to me.
First we went to Toys-R- Us and he bought a toy and two games. He loves games. But he hates to lose. So I have to be prepared to play a game ment for children 6 and older as if it was the last round of the Winston Cup.
Then we went to Target, where we used the gift card wisely, buying Corey three pairs of pants and a soft knit cap for his head and two sweaters for me.
We then had lunch in the mall and I decided that I could afford the dollar movie, so we went to see Freaky Friday. I know that sounds like a chick movie, but it was actually very funny and Corey really enjoyed it.
The movie theater is a mystical place for Corey. He loves it. He always has. His first movie theater experience was at 2, when I took him to see Elmo in Grouchland. I made him a sandwich, and packed him a drink. When the lights went down, he stood up. He took a bite of his sandwich. Then Burt and Ernie appeared on the screen, larger than life, and Corey froze. His eyes wide open, glued to the screen, his feet rooted firmly in place, his sandwich held a 1/4 of an inch from his lips. I kid you not, he stood there like that for over 10 minutes, completely transfixed. It still holds him in a trance to this day. He gets lost in the movie. He is totally gone. He has even shouted out during movies before, talking to the characters. When we went to see Finding Nemo, and the wife was eaten by that scary fish, Corey was so sucked in, that when the father is searching for her, calling her name over and over, Corey yelled out in a packed theater, "She's not there Marlin, she got eaten!" I have also found that it is often difficult to get Corey to speak loudly enough for people to hear him much of the time. He has a quiet voice. Except in a theater. He will start talking to me about the plot, or thinking out loud, and I swear any theatrical director would be impressed with his projection. Yes, the movies are a very special and freeing place for Corey. And I love going there with him.
Then we came home and set up the tree while watching Survivor. We danced around to music and laughed at each others silliness.
Yesterday was a great day. Thank you Hanton Family for making my wish to Santa come true. A day with my son. What a great way to spend the day.

Question

Who came up with the name "Tater-Tots" for a food? I mean, that is a pretty cute name for a dish. Don't you think it is a cute name? I think it is very clever. I also like The Outback's "Bloomin' Onion" title too. That was pretty crafty. But still, not as cute as "Tater-Tots" is. I like Tater-Tots. Even more now that I have put some thought into the name. It is so much better than a lot of other names. Like "Squash". Who came up with that one? Dumb. Nah, let's stick to naming food cute and clever names like "Tater-Tots" from now on!

Royalty in their own minds ...

A woman came into my store three times and asked to see very expensive crystal from the same case all three times. Each time she was very very rude to me. Each time I was very very polite and professional with her. I will tell the story as it went upon the third visit and include my actual thoughts in ...
"Young Lady, I want you to show my friend the Birds of Paradise."
Oh crap her again
"Sure, just give me a moment to finish this file card and I will be right over to open the case."
"You can just give me the key. I know what pieces I want her to see."
Right, just hand the key on over to our most expensive line of product. Sure, cause you said so .... Right.
"Actually, that is not permitted, but I am finished here, so I will be right over."
"Which birds were you interested in?"
"Not birds, the beetles"
So when you said Birds of Paradise you actually meant the ugly bug you resemble, hence why you annoy me so much.
So I open the door and ask which one she wants to look at. She proceeds to talk to her friend as if I am not even there. She begins to reach past me into the case. (Mind you this is a small case about two feet wide and 6 feet tall. I am standing in front of it. I may not be 6 feet tall, but I am kinda wide)
"If you tell me which one you want, I will be happy to show it for you."
"I don't need the Vanna White showcase, I just need the Beetle."
Whatever Grump, just get your hands out of my case!
"I understand. Still, we prefer to retrieve the pieces for you, in the event of a mis-hap, I would be responsible rather than you."
I watch her pull her paws away from the second shelf.
"Fine, what ever, we want to see the orange one ... no no no, the big orange one, not the little one. No the one on the third shelf, the largest one. Here I can do it."
Look you old sun friend prune with a weave, keep your freaking mitts out of the case and check your attitude at the door!"
"My mistake, I have it now." I hold the piece out for them to look at.
"Could you hold it lower and in the light more? And turn it so that she can see how it catches the light."
I thought you didn't need the Vanna White effects you crusty old cow.
"Ok we want that one, but in that small version on the second shelf."
I start to pick up one that she told me not to pick up before.
"No, the pin, not the figurine."
I swear on Al Pacino, you are about to say hello to my little friend!
So I pull out the piece and display it like she asked me to display the large bug.
"Why do you need to display it again?"
Well for your information Mizzzzzz Rude and Stupid ...
"It is about half the size of the other piece and the color is a shade deeper, so I thought you may want to look it over before making your decision."
"No, it is fine, we want that one." All the while she has been having a little conversation with her friend discussing color variations and so forth. So I close the case and lock it, like I have the other two times she has bought something from this case.
"Ok, please feel free to look around while I go in back to get this little guy already in its box."
"Don't you store these up here?"
Did we last time?
"No, because of the value of these pieces, we keep them stored safely in back, but it will only take a moment."
"Fine"
I go in back and get the ugly bug for the woman who acts like she is Country Club but looks and smells like she is Bowling Alley Tavern. I come out with the piece, display it again, as "it will differ slightly from the other, as each piece is an original"
"Ok, we want it gift wrapped, but don't use such a large bow this time, last time the bow was too large." (Mind you we make these bows ourselves, from ribbon, several at a time, by hand, and set them out for the day. These are not drug store, 12 sizes in a bag, cheap bows.)
Ok that is it you mean, pushy, bag of gas...
"Unfortunately, the bows are hand made, and there is only one size. Would you prefer I didn't use a bow?" I will admit, my tone was slightly starch here.
She grits her teeth. "No, the bow you have will be fine."
"Ok, I will be back in a couple of minutes, Betty can ring you up while you wait."
"Can't you wrap it up here?"
Only if I can hog tie you, wrap you in brown bag, slap a stamp on your ass, and mail you to Iraq.
"Sorry, our wrapping station is in the store room, where it is out of the way."
"Fine, we'll wait"
You bet your sweet ass you will!
5 minutes later the gift is wrapped, I hand it to them, bid them good day and begin assisting another customer.
"Is there something I can help you find this evening sir?"

Views From the Mall

Sorry folks, but I have been pulling some long hours ... but I have just a moment to add a couple of these tid bits ...

There was a lovely elderly woman walking down the mall. She had on a white blouse with a black sweater, pearl earrings, silver watch and necklace, pressed black pants and recently salon styled hair. I thought "How quaint." Then I noticed her shoes. Bright red old fashioned Converse Tennis Shoes. BAM! I call her Sneaker Granny.

Then there was the man who wandered around the store for a bit. I was near the back putting some items away when he casually strolled back there. I had previously offered him help, and did not want to seem pushy, so I just let him stroll by. I guess he didn't see me. I hope he didn't see me. Because if he did, than what he did was just really rude. He let one rip. And boy did it rip. I mean loud and clear, long and strong. And he followed it up with a groan that I can only describe as relief. I on the other hand nearly passed out for two reasons:
1. The obvious, the stench.
2. Trying not to burst out laughing.
I call him Guss the Gas Master.