What paycheck? I don't need no stinkin' paycheck!

Ok ... I know I promised a "Royalty" story, but I have to vent on a completely different subject.

I just figured out about how much money to expect on my first paycheck from both stores. I will have worked a total of 90.5 hours. Mind you this is retail, which means on your feet all day, constant physical and mental demands. Some days I will have put in as many as 13 hours between stores. And more than once I have worked 7 days in a row. I think you can all appreciate what I am trying to say here.

So for all my hard work, after taxes, I should see a whopping grand total of ... $543.00!

Yep, for putting up with grumpy-demanding-picky-rude people, smelling some of the worst breath you could imagine, learning two different systems and store products, entertaining other people's children, picking up trash, running up and down stairs to restock, putting things back after people just leave products anywhere they feel like, dust, keep track of codes, keys for display cases, run and balance a cash register, make sure all items are discounted properly, watch for shop lifters, answer the phone, take complaints, returns, layways, on holds, pricing, washing windows, coupons, verify id, and support other staff, all in dress shoes and with a smile and a friendly attitude even though I miss the hell out of my son, I get the thanks of a whole $543.00.

Each and every one of you had better be very nice to every single person who assists you this holiday season. Especially the ones who are very patient, kind, friendly, and professional. I know we all come across rude customer/store service. I hate it too. And I don't excuse it, but please, have a little heart for the crap they put up with at the pay they must accept. Remember my bright shinning wonderful face the next time you ask a store clerk for help, or see them trying to pass down the isle with an arm full of boxes and two other customers have already stopped them to ask for help before you do. Remember, she may just be a single mom, doing her best to feed her family, make ends meet, with out health insurance, a reliable car, or even the knowledge of where she is going to come up with enough money to pay the bills, let alone shop for Christmas. Remember that she could be me. And but by the Grace of God, she could be YOU.

Royalty in Thy Own Imagination

Ok, another new addition.
Did you ever have to pleasure of meeting, dealing with, or even observing someone who thinks they are Royalty? You know, the ones who hear loud trumpets, marching drums, and thunderous applause in their head as they go about their daily routines. The ones who see an imaginary red carpet under their feet. The ones who carry themselves as though the weight of their crown is tipping their head back. You know who I am talking about, unless you are one, then you are wondering why I am insinuating that none of that actually happens.
Being in retail, I see this every day. Especially in the fine gifts and collectibles store I work in. I provide them with excellent and unwavering customer service. Always a smile, professional and friendly attitude, and the utmost courtesy. Just like I do for every customer that walks in that door. I am in customer service. That is my job. Period. Like it or not, I am paid to be nice, helpful, and calm.
BUT...
When I come home I can blog my real thoughts and feelings. I can tell you the story as it went, and then add my true thoughts as "side bars" along the way.
So, tonight, when I get back I will tell my first story as there is not enough time now. So look forward to "Royalty in Thy Own Imagination" coming to the blog near you soon! I promise it will be entertaining!

Views from the Mall

This will be a new section to my blog. Now that I am trapped in Mall Land 6 days a week for at least 4 hours, often as much as 10 hours, a day, I will be getting lots of little scenes to describe for you all. Read and be amused:

Imagine a late 80's Ford 2 door car. Now paint it purple. Yes, purple. Bright purple. Then, watch in your minds eye as a woman about 5 foot 5, 200 lbs, long brown hair pulled into a braid down her back gets out. She is wearing a purple turtle neck, purple flannel shirt, purple coat, black pants, purple socks, black tennis shoes with purple laces, is carrying a purple lunch box and purple hand bag, and proceeds to open a purple umbrella. I am not making this up! I have named her Barney's Wife.
I have more of these, I am keeping a list. But I will let you ponder that one for a while.

uhhhh, missing Cali right about now!

I woke this morning to a large wind and rain storm. I don't drive well in the rain. Especially on the freeway. I just don't like my vision impaired like that, especially in such a small car.
So I complained about it all morning. Kept telling my mom how much I miss California. Well Karma came and bit me in the ass.
IT IS SNOWING RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!!
I don't drive in the snow. I don't know how. I won't pretend to know how. I am a Californian. I don't know snow! Now fog I know! I can drive in fog so dense that you can't see 5 feet in front of you. But not snow.
The ground is slick and weird feeling and to make it worse, when the snow is falling it is the whirly, dizzy crap that crosses your eyes and gives you a headache. I hate the snow!
And because my parents live 45 miles up a mountain, they may have to stay with me tonight. Which I don't mind, but who wants to stay at someone else's house because they have too? That just sucks! I wouldn't mind the company, but it means they have to wear clothes they wore today, stop and buy toothbrushes, etc. It is just a hassle. Guess I should have them keep a drawer here in the house so that if this happens again (which I am sure it will) they have an overnight stock of supplies.
AHHHHHHH Oregon. Did I mention that I miss Cali?

Pacino Fact

Soon after Al's birth, Rose left her infant son & husband, and returned home to her parents in the South Bronx. Al and his father moved in with Sal's (Al's father) family.

Boo Freaking Hoo

So, John was not able to come out from Hockey Town this weekend after all. He works for the airlines and travels standby. But the flights were too full. So instead he bitterly glared at the plane he was supposed to travel on as it took off. And with a boo boo face firmly in place, I finished cleaning the kitchen and pouted.
John makes me laugh. He also gets my sarcastic humor, jaded outlook on relationships, and pops my back like a professional. I was really looking forward to hanging with him.
So was Corey. They were going to see a movie together while I worked last night and we were going to go bowling today. Corey was looking forward to introducing John to Milo. Which I would have found very amusing, knowing that John doesn't really care for dogs, but would have pretended to love Milo to make Corey happy.
Milo was pretty mad that John wasn't coming. At Corey's request to help John like Milo, I took him in for a bath and trim. He has been kept of the couch that John loves to lay on, and been told by Corey several times not jump on John when he gets here. So Milo was pissed that the guy didn't even show up.
Now I am wishing that I were with TJ and Nicole tomorrow night. The Niners vs. Steelers game would be our focus. TJ is a great man with few flaws, one of which is his love for the Steelers. We would have three kids running around, while we ate chips-n-dips, veggies, burgers, hot dogs, and brownies. We would chase it all down with TJ's killer margaritas and irritate the hell out of one another, not to mention the kids, as we teased each other about the teams. It would be a great night. Instead, they will be sound asleep on the east coast and I will be flipping back and forth between the game and Corey's favorite show "Fear Factor".
I know, I know, Boo Freaking Hoo! Well it is my blog and I will cry if I want to!

Bring on the Rain

Ok, so picture me, baseball cap pulled low over my eyes, jeans, sweatshirt (for those of you who know me well it is my "Michael kiss my ass I am not afraid of you" sweatshirt), hands on hips, eyes narrow, and my left eyebrow raised. This is my "bring it on" look.

Last night at 10 pm PST my phone was disconnected. The bill said due 11/22/03 but it was disconnected. Milo ate my ugly but very comfortable $80.00 on your feet all day shoes, the neighbor set off fireworks at 11:30 pm, and thanks to the witch mother nature I broke out all over my forehead. I have my friend John coming to visit this weekend, and I don't get my first paycheck until the 1st. So let's just say my nerves were raw this morning when the garbage man missed my can. Just drove on by.

So the picture I painted in my opening is exactly what the garbage man saw when he came cruising by 20 minutes later on the other side of the street. All I needed to say was "You missed my can!"

The fear in his eyes was not unfamiliar to me. It is the same fear seen in other drivers as I rage through traffic, seen in other people when they insult or disrespect my son, in ex-boyfriends when they try to maniputlate or lie to me, seen by strangers when they touch my friends inappropriately in a bar, and even seen by Corey when he rolls his eyes and says "blah blah blah" after I tell him why he needs to do something.

No, the look in the garbage mans eyes did not surprise me. I have perfected my "bring it on look" which is often called the "don't mess with that B*%@#!" look. And it got the same result that it always get, my way. I have felt like I am at the mercy of other people for over two months now, trying to find work, and that leaves you feeling weak. It was nice to put the armor of attitude back on and go into battle.

If nothing else, it is out of my system before John gets here. He will appreciate that.

Al Says:

"The Street, she don't forget."

Carlito's Way

Can you play the Taps please, and follow with thunderous applause

Well the deed is done. I warned that little menace to get out while the getting was good, but nooooooooo. So drastic measures were taken. He under estimated me. Maybe because I had failed so many times before. But as they say, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And you all know I was beyond scorned, I was blackened like a Cajun Catfish.
The mouse was in an almost empty cereal box that I left on the counter in hopes of trapping the little devil. It worked. I closed the lid. Now what? The freezer? No, it would find a way out before it froze. Tried the toilet trick once before, and we all know how that turned out. I don't own any metal containers or a glass jar large enough to dump it in. So what else could I do but what I did?
I filled the tub with hot water and Draino. Yep, you heard me correctly. Then I submerged the box. I held it down with the toilet brush and prayed that the varmint would stay inside the box to drown. No such luck.
It swam around, and my conscious started to get to me. So I swished the water around to make the process faster. When it jumped on the floating cereal box like a life raft I began to cry. I was committed now, I couldn't save it even if I knew how. It would die slowly from the Draino on and in it's body. So I knocked it off the box, and moved the water around so quickly he went under and did not come back up. Then I waited for about 5 minutes. Used the brush to pull out the cereal box and then let the water out.
There was still a little cereal in the box upon submersion, so it caused a small clog which slowed the draining process. When the water was low enough, I used an old taco bell cup to scoop the critter out and flushed it down the toilet. Then I went to clean the tub.
Uh, Houston we have a problem. In the drain was another mouse. A smaller one. Very dead. Now I feel twice as bad. After some crafty toilet brushing, it too was flushed down the toilet.
Yes, I know it sounds very cruel and borderline sadistic, but I did not know what else to do. I hope there aren't more. I don't think I could do that again. Although they do say after the first kill, the rest become easier. Who are they? Manson, Dommer, Crouger, ya know, the guys.
So tonight I go to bed feeling like a monster, but I go to bed mouse free. (I think. Enter scary music here. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN...)

eeeeeee ooooooo aaaaaaaahhh OUCH!

So last night was my first shift in retail. I worked at Northland Gifts from 5-9pm.
First let me say that I work with some really nice people. They were guiding me through things and saying "don't worry, you'll never remember all of this, just do as much as you can and never feel bad if you have to ask for help." All the woman are older than me. They have grand and great-grand children. But they are soooooooo nice.
I have to go by CC because there is already a Cindy. And she is just the sweetest person. So I do not mind.
There is a young man, younger than me. Nice. (Who ever is going there, just stop right now. The answer is with out a doubt, NO.)
So I was thinking to myself before going in "This shouldn't be too hard. We sell pretty little glass stuff. They don't have a computer, so everything is logged by hand. Not rocket science." I was right. Not rocket science. But some parts are freaking hard.

the biggest challenge is the fact that we carry a fine line of gifts (glass figurines smaller than the size of my big toe, that cost over $200.00.) But although some are very very very similar in appearance and style, they can be from different lines. So this poses a deer in the head lights look when:
1. A customer asks if we carry Department 56 Christmas Villages because all she saw was the Dickens Villages. (Yes we do)
2. Looking towards the Village section (past all the crystal with all the bright light reflecting everywhere) I have to figure out which display (each about 10 x 4 feet) is Dept. 56
3. They bring the model to the desk and you have to go find it in the storeroom.
4. You take each item out of its box, show it to assure quality, and place it back in the box. (I am getting pretty darn good at getting those things back into those form fitting packages.)
5. Here is the really really tricky part. Although I know the cash register, I have to find the right button with the correct line/category to ring it under. Which sounds easy enough, except it isn't. Because I really don't know the lines. Precious moments and Disney I got. But the difference between the Big Sky and the Blue Sky lines, no clue.
7. Then you have to log it into the book under the right category.
6. The customers know their stuff. They will ask things about specific lines. Can you special order this, when did they retire that, there is a new one being issued next week can we pre-purchase. And we are not talking the Nemo movie here folks. We are talking tree ornaments that cost over $20.00 or collectibles that do not have Nascar on the side, or do not come in bobble head form.
And the genius that I am, wore my sleek, high 2 + inch black boots. Long story as to why, but I talked myself into believing that it would be no different than going out dancing in them. It never occurred to me that while out dancing, I do a lot of sitting and there is usually alcohol involved, which numbs the pain.
So needless to say, I was in a lot of pain by 9:00. I don't know if any man could possibly relate to this, but I am sure a couple of woman could. My feet hurt so bad that while walking to my car, I almost threw-up. No exaggeration. With that kind of pain, you tighten every muscle in your body. I took the boots off the second I got in the car. I couldn't even touch my feet. Then when I got home, my feet were so puffy, I could not get them back into the boots, so I limped in the rain and puddles to my door. I sat on the couch and only got up to go to bed.
Today I can walk with out whimpering. That is a good sign. I will not ever wear those boots to work again. In fact, I will wear ugly black nursing shoes first.
Ok, so there is my story. Bottom line, I like my new job.
Another update:
I was begged to work for Bath and Body, but had to turn them down because I was already committed for nights and weekends to Northland Gifts. And Hallmark wants me during the day after the 16th. So retail is my new industry. And I think I may stick with it after the holidays, if I can find enough hours in the day sift to pay the bills.

Corey Bragging ! Corey Bragging !

Today was parent teacher meeting day. They don't give out report cards anymore, they are Progress Reports. They don't give out A,B,C,D, or F's either. They give out:
AC (area of concern)
*(not assessed at this time)
G (group instruction{?})
1 (beginning content and skills)
2 (Developing/improving)
3 (Basic-developing application)
4 (proficient-meets year END expectations)
5 (advanced)
6 (exemplary).
ok so basically, everyone should be at a 1 or 2 right now, 4 is where they want you to be at the end of the year. Corey got the highest score allowed on each assessment spare 2, which were more of a maturity/behavior thing and is still well with in normal range. So in some places the teacher (who I love even more now than I did 8 hours ago) gave him a 1 or 2 because she was not permitted to give higher in those categories. Example, she would have given him a 5 in subtraction, but due to just starting that skill, she was only permitted to go as high as 3. He got the rave reviews on his math, reading, and vocabulary.
I saw a story he wrote the second day of school vs. one he wrote this week. I teared up. He has just improved leaps and bounds! And he has the greatest vocabulary.
Examples of things he has said in class:
Actually that is not the character I was hoping to talk about.
Well, for future reference...
Regardless, ...
I suppose that was the proper decision.
So what you're telling me is ...
And when asked what the word "join" was or to provide a sentence Corey was the only one to raise his hand ...
"Would you like to join me for a drink?"
I am still laughing! Flirt! Hitting on the teacher like that! I have no idea where that comes from!
He is either at grade level or above on all areas. And as far as that whole anger management ... not even a hint of an issue, she agrees that he just needed time to adjust to all the changes.
So my bright, talented, wonderful child is proven to all!
Hear that pride, see the grin on my face, that is the bragging of a very proud mommy!

Can someone explain this please?

I have been applying for jobs since Labor Day. And until yesterday, I had only been asked to interview twice. Jobs that my experience, training, and abilities make me perfect for never returned a phone call, responded to a fax, or even asked for an application. I couldn't even get them to say "F off lady." Nothing. Like I didn't exist.
Then yesterday, I just walk into a few stores and ask if they need seasonal to full time help. No retail experience. Just took a shot in the dark, before Lane Electric leaves me in the dark. Yesterday I was offered a job, and asked to interview for another. Today, a woman who said that she would not be able to review my application until next week or later called me today and asked for an interview tomorrow.(Hallmark)
They all seem really impressed, and not to sound like a snob, but they should be. I am a very polite, customer focused, dependable, hard working, and genuinely nice person. I have customer service skills that would put Mother Teresa to shame. And it is not that I feel that retail is below me. I feel that anyone who has a job is my equal in the job world. We all need each other to get the things we want, be it a fair trial or a fast cheeseburger. No ones title makes them better than anyone else. So that isn't the issue. I think with my skills minimum wage is an insult, but it is for a lot of people in a lot of jobs. You have to start somewhere, and sometimes you have to take what you can get, even if it means going back to where you started.
My point is this: how did the other companies I applied with miss what the retail industry got? How is it that the business that my resume and training were designed for failed to recognize my potential, let alone my unarguable ability/skills. It just blows me away. Really, the only things that attracted me to those jobs first were pay and my history in those fields. I would like working retail as much as sitting at a desk. I have people skills, and those transfer anywhere.
So even more so today, than yesterday (see blog below), I focus on the fact that everything happens for a reason. (And before you say it mom, I doubt it is so I can meet the perfect man :)) There is undoubtedly a reason why I am being brought into retail. Maybe because I hate the mall so much and God has issues with that. Or maybe so I can get a total fix on people watching. Or maybe a swarm of terrorist will try to take over the mall, and Bruce Willis and I will be all that stands between the customers and total destruction! Who knows, what ever it is, I accept it, I just wish it was while Corey is at school, rather than at home with out me! (Before anyone calls CPS, he will have sitters)
Ok, done venting, thanks for listening.

Thank God for the holiday rush!

I have a job! I have a job! Thank God, I have a job! It is retail, minimum wage, part time, eves and weekends, at the mall, for the holiday season, but beggars can't be choosers. It is a small staff, that seem very, very nice and I appreciate that they seem more like a family than a store full of clerks. The downside that actually makes me cry, is that it is eves and weekends. I will only see my son for a little while in the morning and for a half-hour before bed. That really hurts. A lot. But it is temporary, and I have bills to pay.
Plus, I think I have a really good chance of getting another part time job at Bath and Body. A store I love. Hopefully they will offer me a job and would be willing to work with me on my schedule. I figure if I am going to be away from my son for 6-8 weeks, I am going to take as many part time jobs as I can. Pay off the bills and debt. Because 1 part time job at minimum wage will not pay the bills.
The crazy thing is, I just walked to the stores I noticed while there yesterday (see story below) and handed them my resume. Northland gifts called me back for an interview, left messages with my references, then called me to offer me the job less than 5 hours after my interview, and before my references had called them back.
Although I really do hurt over losing such important time with my son, I still believe that everything happens for a reason. It has been hard to stay focused on that. Something about the wolves at the door with a big stack of bills I can't pay made it hard to keep hold of my faith. But, I cling none the less, and it will get me through.
So as hard as it is, I am grateful for this job and will let you know if I have any killer discounts! :)

Finding Nemo, the untold saga!

Today I went to the mall an hour before it opened so that I could use my ticket to get the just released Finding Nemo DVD. I was the first one there. But I was also the only one waiting. So, I decided to window peer (can't even say shop since all the stores were closed and I am so broke I can't even call it window shopping anymore) and waste time.
I don't know if it is an Oregon thing, or if I never noticed this before because I go to a mall like once every three months and always in the eve and never on the weekends. But there was a slew of elderly people speed walking around the mall. Some were strolling, some gimping, and a few were pushing a walker with all their might. But most were speed walking. I mean the gust these folks left in their wake knocked me back a few feet. It is pretty sad when a 70-year-old is in better shape than you. I gave up about 20 minutes in and sat outside the Disney Store.
Then 5 minutes before the store opens 4 couples show up and check their watches. So I quietly stand up, and wait for the gate to open. I was not crowding anyone, no need, I had a pre-purchased voucher and the entrance is very large. But one woman looked me up and down like I had just threatened to take the last Krispy Kreme on earth! Whoa there Bessy Heifer, just standing up.
So when the clerk opens the gate, Bessy stampedes in, plows her way to the Nemo movie stand at the back of the store. I calmly walked to the counter, with my ticket in my hand. She ends up charging the cash register like it was a red cape and huffs at the clerk like she just shouted "O'ley!"
Now here is the real shocker ... the clerk turns to me and said "I bet you would like to pick up your movie?"
"I was here first." Ms. Heifer snorted.
"Actually, I noticed this woman sitting outside over 15 minutes ago, and she has already paid, so all I have to do is this..." She puts the Nemo movie in the bag, and smiles. "It is a really horrible cold day out there, take it home, curl up and enjoy!"
"Thank you so much. Have a great day!" I replied with righteous indignation.
I thought Bessy was going to drop a calf right there.
Every once in a while you do get really good service. If I had more than 13 cents in my wallet, I would have given her a tip.

HORAH !

So I am adding two new features to my wonderful site, created in honor of Mr. Al Pacino, by the great TJ Hanton.

Pacino Facts: Where you can get the scoop. But no dirt/gossip, because I have nothing but respect for the man.

Al Says: Where I will supply you with quotes from his movies. There are some that are great to use on others!

I will add these in from time to time, so tune in and keep up!

Here comes your first ... (wow, I feel like a senior taking a freshman to prom!)

Pacino Fact:
On April 25th, 1940 Alfredo James Pacino was born in East Harlem N.Y. to 16 year old Salvatore and 19 year old Rose, a first generation Cicilen couple.

Brrrrrr ... Trick or Treat

Well Halloween in Oregon is, well, cold. It was in the 30's last night, and the kids wanted to give up after about 12 houses. We parents pushed on, knowing our score would be less if the kids did not bring in a big haul.
Corey was a vampire, and I have to say I did a really good job on his makeup. It helps to have a mom who has been in the theater most of her life. I was a witch, and did a little makeup work on myself too. I would have to say that is probably how I would look if someone made me hang glide while holding a spider. It was not a pretty sight.
We went with Corey's friend McCoy and his family. It was fun, as his mom, Stefanie (yes I spelled that right) and I are becoming pretty decent friends.
Here's a question, isn't everyone pretty aware that there is Halloween edict? If the porch light is off, do not knock, if it is on, come on up. Never give home made treats and it is a night for candy, not a well-balanced meal. Pretty basic right? Yeah ... so why is it that:
1. People had their lights on and did not open their doors? One guy even had pumpkins on his porch and told the kids he was not giving out candy. I thought he was kidding. Nope. One house left a note on the door that pretty much said "trick", and people all around us continued to run up to houses with the lights off.
2. Some freak (a tree hugging, vegetarian, hippie I am sure) gave out raisins. And another gave out the lunch size bags of the new hot/spicy cheetos. Jerk.
It was a good thing we didn't have T.P or eggs with us, because Stef and I were ready to do some damage. I mean, these cheap jerks were not just upsetting our kids, but subtracting from our score too!
FYI
For all those interested, Milo is doing fine. Although his little buddies are already the size of grapes. Poor kid. But he is handling it like a champ!